There are those who may be reading this particular entry and asking themselves, "does he mean me?" The answer is no. What I'm referring to here is what questions are appropriate for me to ask at times. This all stems from those little portions of my formerly anxious self that still haven't fully been excorcised. In a way this is my way of trying to get past those things that hold me back without causing some people uncomfortable with my wanting to get to know them. You know it is easy to have a relationship with God. You can ask Him anything and He won't feel uncomfortable with you. People are another matter.
Part of this worrying goes back many years ago, when I was dating a woman in Grand Rapids. She claimed that I didn't ask enough questions of her for us to be communicating. I didn't think so. Though I was usually paralyzed in my fear as to what was an appropriate question. I'm not so much paralyzed by such things in most cases now, but it can happen.
I look at my experiences with the youth group and I run into the same thing there. I want to show that I care about their lives and activities (and I don't think that kids get enough of this in our culture now), but I must balance the fact that I'm not their parent and that I don't need to know everything nor am I supposed to. However, its hard to have a friendship with anyone without talking, discussing and truly learning about the other.
However, I like to talk and if I meet someone that I like to hang with, that can mean trouble. Well maybe not trouble, but after while I begin to feel like I'm hanging around too much and asking too many questions and that I would be monopolizing their time at the expense of others.
So I'm wondering, when is it being too nosy?
(I'm beginning to think that no matter how old you are you still suffer from the same insecurities that you did when you were a teenager. Just look what I just wrote!)
5 comments:
hmmmm! Could he mean me??? Did this blog topic about being nosy come from my email I sent you a couple of days ago??? Thats cool if it did and cool if it didnt. I just found it interesting that you wrote on the subject of being nosy not too long after my email of a million and one questions.
PS. I like this blog thing...still figuring it all out though...i got my sister hooked on it!
Hi Mary!
As the first sentence says, "There are those who may be reading this particular entry and asking themselves, "does he mean me?" The answer is no." However, the converstions that we have been having brought to light that I still don't always have a good handle on how much I should ask. This is something that I wrestle with when I am talking to the kids in the youth group or getting to know adults that I happen to strike up acquaintences with. So don't fret. This is more my "thinking out loud" about myself, in internet form, rather than any criticism to you or anyone else. I'm really happy to answer questioins about me that people ask, but I still don't have a handle on what I should always ask.
Aren't you working???? I came back to this to re-read my comment and was surprised to see you commented on my comment already! Anyway, I too suffer from not knowing what is too much to ask of people, as you probably gathered from my email. I like people to ask me questions, though. Heck, how else are you going to get to know someone???
I am at work, and since the weather is quiet and I get to take minute or two here and there I can respond.
As far as your last question, "Heck, how else are you going to get to know someone???" I say, "Exactly my point."
So, I've been thinking about this subject and our conversations, and it is apparent we both agree that the only way to get to know someone is to ask questions about them, and if the person you are asking the questions to feels like you are being too nosy, then they need to let you know. So, bottom line, it depends on the situation and person.
Post a Comment