23 October 2004

So when is it being too nosy?

There are those who may be reading this particular entry and asking themselves, "does he mean me?" The answer is no. What I'm referring to here is what questions are appropriate for me to ask at times. This all stems from those little portions of my formerly anxious self that still haven't fully been excorcised. In a way this is my way of trying to get past those things that hold me back without causing some people uncomfortable with my wanting to get to know them. You know it is easy to have a relationship with God. You can ask Him anything and He won't feel uncomfortable with you. People are another matter.

Part of this worrying goes back many years ago, when I was dating a woman in Grand Rapids. She claimed that I didn't ask enough questions of her for us to be communicating. I didn't think so. Though I was usually paralyzed in my fear as to what was an appropriate question. I'm not so much paralyzed by such things in most cases now, but it can happen.

I look at my experiences with the youth group and I run into the same thing there. I want to show that I care about their lives and activities (and I don't think that kids get enough of this in our culture now), but I must balance the fact that I'm not their parent and that I don't need to know everything nor am I supposed to. However, its hard to have a friendship with anyone without talking, discussing and truly learning about the other.

However, I like to talk and if I meet someone that I like to hang with, that can mean trouble. Well maybe not trouble, but after while I begin to feel like I'm hanging around too much and asking too many questions and that I would be monopolizing their time at the expense of others.

So I'm wondering, when is it being too nosy?

(I'm beginning to think that no matter how old you are you still suffer from the same insecurities that you did when you were a teenager. Just look what I just wrote!)
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